


The World's Contracted Thus

by McKay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 16:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/McKay
Summary: On his birthday, Remus engages in a little melancholy reflection. Set two years post-war.





	The World's Contracted Thus

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2006. All quotes are taken from Donne, specifically "The Good Morrow" and "Elegy XX: To His Mistress Going to Bed". The title is from "The Sun Rising".

Remus leaned on both hands against the wrought iron rail, a cool evening breeze ruffling his hair as he watched the sun sinking into the sea in an explosion of fiery color. The wind brought with it the scent of lush flowers and salt and sand, and the weather was a far cry from the cold drizzle he could have expected on this day were they... 

He stopped himself short of thinking the word "home". England wasn't home anymore, not for him or for Severus. The Ministry had made certain neither of them were welcome there any longer in spite of their sacrifices during the war. The Ministry had refused to accept the written documentation left by Albus asserting Severus' true motives for killing Albus. Severus wasn't innocent - he _had_ committed murder - but he wasn't a traitor. He and Albus had arranged the whole thing; Albus knew Harry needed to be free to find the Horcruxes, and having Severus deep undercover, still providing information to the Order through secret, indirect means, had allowed the Order to survive long enough to let Harry complete his work. As it turned out, Albus had never expected the Order to win the war; they had all been pawns, including Severus. 

The Ministry claimed the documentation could have been forged, and they refused to look at the memories Albus left in his Pensieve or at Severus' memories, and they refused to consider Veritaserum. In short, they wanted someone to pillory and since Voldemort was little more than a pile of dust and decay thanks to Harry, Severus had been the next best thing. He still had a head that could be put on display, figuratively or literally. 

Remus hadn't fared much better. Thanks to Greyback and other werewolves fighting for Voldemort, the rest of them - even those who had stayed out of the conflict entirely and Remus, who had fought for the Order - had suffered. They were rounded up and branded, and the laws were made even more stringent, taking away any opportunity for employment. The unspoken goal was to drive them all to what was officially referred to as a "Werewolf Reservation", but which was in reality was little more than a prison camp. 

United in persecution, Remus and Severus had fled together, using their combined efforts to make themselves untrackable. It hadn't been as bad for either of them as it might have been to people who had more ties. Severus' family were dead, and what friendships he might have had had been shattered the night he killed Albus Dumbledore. Remus' family were dead as well, and his closest friends had been dead for years. Of those connections that remained, there weren't any so strong that it hurt dreadfully to sever them. He felt a pang of regret and loss, but little more; he was accustomed to loss, after all. It had been such a common motif of his life that he had learned of necessity not to become too attached to anything or anyone. 

That included Tonks. He cared for her, certainly, but he was too old, too cautious, and too habitually detached to let himself or her get too close. They were in the middle of a war, and he hadn't been at all certain he could stand another loss of the magnitude of James, Lily, Peter, and Sirius. When his efforts to put her off failed, he had acquiesced to her desire for a relationship, but he had kept her at an emotional arms-length, his survival instincts warning him that he was destined to lose her as he'd lost everyone else. 

He expected that meant her death during the war; he hadn't suspected it meant he would be the one to walk away. She had wept and begged him to stay, weaving desperate plans of hiding and fooling the Ministry even though he had already been forced to take the brand that would allow them to track him anywhere within their bounds of authority. She even offered to go with him, although the doubt and grief in her eyes when she spoke the words solidified his refusal. She had family, friends, a job - an entire life here, rich and full. She was young; she would love again, and forcing her into the life of a fugitive wasn't fair. It would be a waste, he said, and in the end, it was her turn to acquiesce to his wishes. 

And so now here they were in a tropical paradise where they were free, living among wizards who were teaching them a different kind of magic, one far different from European wizardry that they both found fascinating, yet on this day, Remus wished for nothing more to be standing in the chilly, damp countryside of his native land. 

"Homesick?" The words were accompanied by the slide of warm, long fingers from his shoulders down to his elbows, and he felt the press of a slender body against his back. 

"How did you know?" Remus glanced over his shoulder, offering Severus a half-smile as he leaned back against Severus' chest and accepted the offered solace. 

"You always turn maudlin on your birthday." Severus bent his head and brushed a kiss against Remus' ear, making him shiver. "It's been two years. I'd have thought you would be over it by now." 

"I'd have thought it, too." Remus turned and wound his arms around Severus' neck, sifting his fingers gently through Severus' hair. 

"Do you want to go home?" Severus' expression turned guarded, and Remus was reminded that he wasn't the only one who had grown accustomed to loss and detachment. "Do you miss her?" 

"No." Remus shook his head firmly. "And no." 

He gazed at Severus, marveling anew at how their relationship had changed; thrown together by circumstance, they had been forced to trust and rely on each other. Somewhere along the way, Remus had lost his detachment, and he realized with an abrupt jolt that England really _wasn't_ home any longer. He had seen the little sampler in Molly Weasley's kitchen that read "Home is where the heart is" a thousand times, and it had meant nothing to him. Now it meant everything. 

"I'm already home," he murmured, cupping Severus' cheek in his palm and stroking it tenderly with his thumb. 

Severus reached up and grasped Remus' hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to the brand on his inner wrist. Supposedly, it had no effect outside the jurisdiction of the Ministry, but neither of them had wanted to take any chances, and they had worked to neutralize it together. Now it was nothing more than an ugly mark, but one which Severus kissed often. 

"Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone; let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown; let us possess one world; each hath one, and is one." Severus' voice was deep and smooth, and Remus closed his eyes, letting both words and voice wash over him. 

"Yes, precisely," he said, a little smile tugging at his lips. He opened his eyes and let Severus see his amusement. "You know I can't resist when you quote Donne." 

"Of course I do." Severus smirked as he clasped Remus' hand and led him back inside where Remus knew dinner and a cake - lemon sponge cake, his favorite - would be waiting. 

And after _that_ , their bed would be waiting - a "love's hallow'd temple" of their own where "as souls unbodied, bodies unclothed must be", and Remus intended to prove that he required no "more covering than a man" - repeatedly, if necessary to allay Severus' concerns. 

Severus didn't hold the monopoly on Donne, after all.


End file.
